#5 - Consider The Manager: A Study in Conversation

Consider The Manager. A curious species. The Manager, at least in the realm of his practice (engineering), can spend anywhere from four to eight hours a day in meetings. Irrespective of his feelings — about the meeting, about its participants, the actual conversation, or about himself even — The Manager must be an active participant in the act of conversation. Some days (and some people) are easier than others. But The Manager, with time and reps, has become fluent in the act of conversing. He is now a Professional Talker. He is a Walkie Talkie.

There are days when he craves a barren calendar. Alas. He’s tired of hopping from one fleeting 30-minute chat to another. Brain switching context like a chameleon changes color. He wants a break. He needs a break! Fatigue has set in. He’s been at this for three years now. He’s approaching five years at The Company. He’s due a break. He’s about to take six weeks off. A reprieve from talking. And thinking. And talking! Finally!

For the first ten days of The Break, The Manager is in Taiwan with his cousins. This trip is long overdue. He enjoys The Break. From everything. He’s still talking, but the nature of talking has changed. It’s less goal-oriented. It’s shiggles with the fam. He also talks to the locals. Less with words, more with Google Translate. It feels rejuvenating. Ten days later he comes back to reality. Jet lag wrecks him but he’s finding back his groove. He spends time with his dog which he has long craved. He takes long, romantic walks with his wife. He sleeps. He writes. He goes to the movie theater at 1pm on a Thursday. He’s never done that before. He does this for five days.

Then, he decides to venture out of his two week bubble, of cousins, and wife, and movie theater, and dog. He decides he’s going to do his writing from a cafe today. Then go play squash. He reads on the train. No one talks to him on the train. That would be weird. It’s New York after all. Who talks to strangers? He makes it to the cafe. Do Not Feed Alligators. Not an instruction. That’s the name of the cafe. He walks up to the barista and immediately launches into Pavlovian pleasantries. A conversational tic he’s developed over thousands of cafe visits.

“Hi, how are you?” he says.

The barista responds with her Pavlovian pleasantries. A conversational tic she has developed responding to a bajillion customers over the course of this job.

“I’m good, what about you? What can I get you?” the barista responds.

Neither one actually cares about the question. Or the answer. He wants coffee. She wants to go home.

This is where most conversational transactions conclude. A hot brown drink is handed over. Money changes hands (digitally). The End.

Not today. The Manager notices a book next to the point-of-sale system. The barista notices the book in The Manager’s hand, the same one he was reading on the train. Today, The Manager feels a strange sensation inside him. He feels thoughts rising in his brain. Words are coming to his lips. And not the ones he would normally say. Instead of responding with “Could I get a Flat White?” he says, “I’m good too! What are you reading?” pointing to the book. The barista and the manager chat briefly about each other’s books. He adds her book to his Goodreads. The barista hands him his Flat White. The Manager heads to the cute back patio. He’s feeling good about this exchange. He thinks the barista feels good too. But he’s also surprised. And slightly confused. What just happened?

There’s only one other person in the back patio. Neither acknowledges the other. That would be weird. It’s New York after all. The Manager is now enjoying his cozy beverage and is back to reading his book. The Other Person is talking on the phone. The Manager can’t help overhear. He’s easily distracted. Attention shot by 30-minute meetings and context switching. He hears the Other Person talking to someone about how to find apartments in New York. She explains New York’s unique (re: broken) process that involves StreetEasy listings and obscene broker fees. She seems like a real estate agent. She seems kind. She knows what she’s talking about. So the manager thinks. He doesn’t know anything about New York rentals. He lives in Jersey.

The Manager remembers one of his cousins is moving to New York in September and will be looking for apartments soon. The Manager feels a strange sensation inside him. Again? Again. He feels thoughts rising in his brain. Words are coming to his lips. He wouldn’t just start a conversation with a random person now, would he? Just you wait.

The Manager waits too. He waits for the call to conclude. Then asks, “Do you work in real estate?” The Other Person is surprised. Pleasantly maybe. She says yes. The Manager tells her about his cousin and her move. He asks whether she deals with properties in Jersey too? (That’s where the cousin wants to live). The Other Person says no. They both go back to their respective activities. When the Other Person leaves, she says bye to The Manager. What is going on?! This is New York for God’s sake!

As The Manager goes about his day, he feels this urge again and again. With tourists (pilgrims?) trying to find their way around the Financial District. With the concierge at the Squash club. He wonders what’s happening. But he notices he’s happy. He’s enjoying being around people. He’s loving the energy he’s getting from them. Even strangers. He realizes, he just wants to talk. He likes talking. With anyone. Everyone. Just because he doesn’t have to talk anymore doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to. When he started The Break, he knew he wanted to prioritize connecting with people. Family and friends specifically. He hadn’t imagined that strangers, community, people around him, were also included. He feels more present than ever before. He’s noticing things he didn’t before. He has the space to ask questions he didn’t have the willpower to ask. He realizes maybe he became The Manager because he likes connecting with people. At every level. Even though the job requires him to. He also wants to.

The Manager goes home fulfilled that day. Hoping to do it all over again tomorrow.